About Silent Lullabye

Silent Lullabye is not about death. It's about the world we go to when we sleep at night. A place where all your dreams can come true and there are no restraints that will get in your way or hold you back. The references to music are there because it's one of the things i'm passionate about, music is my life. I love writing and when I write I put it to music. Writing and music go hand in hand. In your dreams you let go of all inhibitions (sp?) and you can see what you will become. All your hopes and dreams are real and in your dreams you do what it takes to achieve it. Hence no restraints. So that when you awaken from this dream world you can let all your inhibitions go and go for your hopes and dreams. And then they won't just be hopes and dreams anymore, they'll be reality. But until then you just sleep and dream in your Silent Lullabye. Now go read it! It's the next post down lol.

Silent Lullabye

wake me up
when this day ends
i want to go to sleep
and never wake again

stay in my dream world
where all is safe
kick it with friends
who have long since left this place

i want to be free
to live life again
with no more restraints
no starting at a new beginnings end

dance in the rain
to the music in my heart
jump in the puddles
to the depths of my soul
wake to the rains end
to climb the rainbow to my hopes and dreams
sleep and never wake again
until this day ends
in my silent lullabye

sleep is a silent lullabye
to hold you safe throughout the night
away from lifes dangers
in a silent lullabye

where you create music all day
no life is put to shame
no breathe taken for granted
no sung to go unsung

where everything is possible
no goals are out of reach
the stars are never too far
and the sky is never too high

so sleep like you've never slept before
dance in the rain
to the music of your heart
jump in the puddles
to the depths of your soul
wake to the rains end
to climb the rainbow to your hopes and dreams
sleep is a silent lullabye
where heaven is never too far

watch as the sun sets over this place
as the thunder in your heart rolls through the night
the lightening in you eyes
stretches across the sky

the fire in your heart
sets your pain on fire
ashes unleash the wisdom
to the desires in your heart

take everything for what it's worth
all is paid off with your lifes work
the passion in your soul
will never go unknown

so sleep like you've never slept before
dance in the rain
to the music of your heart
jump in the puddles
to the depths of your soul
wake to the rains end
to climb the rainbow to your hopes and dreams
where everything is possible
in your silent lullabye
your silent lullabye
my silent lullabye
silent lullabye

1year 11months

can you see the tears I cry
or feel the pain i have inside
are you so arrogant and naive
that you can't see with your own eyes

i feel this pain like a brick
i swear my life has been rigged
why else would there be so much hurt and pain
with no way out to breathe again

i can't and won't let you go
even if it's my only way to survive
i won't take the chance of forgetting you
and not being a part of my life

you left this world almost two years ago
it's been one year eleven months
699 days spent without you
an eternity in my heart

true i will live on
even without you
but it's only living on the outside
because inside i'm empty

i have no more feelings
all i feel is numb
put a wall around my heart
i'll never feel again

i will always miss you Cole
but i have to keep on "living"
because all the pain you put us through
i won't put them through again

Skinned Knees

i saw your face again today
couldn't seem to get it out of my head
no matter how hard i tried
i couldn't fight back the tears
and everyone saw me cry

i can't get the casket out of my head
i think of you at night
as i lay in my bed
thinking of the rocks
hitting my window at night

i wish i would have gotten to say
that i love you and goodbye
at least give me that much
because now all day the only thing i think of
is how i never got to say goodbye

i can't let you go
no matter how hard i try
i fall to the ground at the gravesite
and skin my knees
as i cry

i want to go back to those times
when skinned knees were the only things
that could make you cry
instead of your friend
six feet under in a grave at night

my words can't do you justice
but at least i hope you know
that i love you so much
i miss you
and i will never let your memory go

rest in peace my friend

Heartbroken and Hopeless

So here I stand, or sit rather, heartbroken again. And severely hopeless. I know that one day i'll find someone. But that hope is running low. I once had a great relationship. That went down in flames. He got too close and I pushed him away. I had another great relationship. I was engaged. Yea that's right WAS engaged. I didn't tell anyone about it. It was going to be a surprise. That one ended about a month ago. Now I don't think I have hope left. I'm just so alone. Everyone tells me that i'm this great person and any guy would be so lucky to have me with them. So I don't get it. Why am I alone then? Maybe i'm not as great of a person as you all think I am. Hey maybe i'm a horrible person. Maybe no one will ever understand this pain that I have from being alone. I don't want to be alone anymore. My heart just got broken all over again.

Air Force

So yes I am shooting to be in the Air Force by then end of this year. I'm hoping to get everything all finished up and ready by the end of this month, just waiting for Basic Training. I'm hoping all will be well while i'm gone. I'll think of everyone. I won't leave until my ankle is FULLY healed and my braces are off. So you guys still have a few months to see me. Then i'm gone for six weeks, then 9-5 on weekdays. And if I get shipped out, then, a long ass time. Maybe i'll wait a few years until things calm down oversea's. I mean like I wouldn't mind going but I couldn't handle being away from home for so long. But anyway I gots to go. Peace Love and Happy Endings to all.

I Fall Hard

So yes peoples I am falling again. I finally relearned how to stand, and hold my head high after taking a harsh blow from Casey. And now that i've learned how to stand, i'm falling again. I don't know what may come of this. But to tell you the truth i'm scared to death. I'm trying to figure him out, with no luck. I'm so confused. Do I take down my walls? Or do I build them higher? Do I let him in? Or do I push him away? Well he's already pretty far away lol. Literally. God I just don't know what to do anymore. He's gone for two weeks now. So I have no way of communicating. So yes everyone I will be free again instead of staying home just to talk to him lol. For two weeks at least lol. So i'll start returning some phone calls in the next few days. But I start work back up next week so I dunno wha'ts gonna happen. Any anyone who knows anything about the person of the topic. SHHHHHH. Don't say anything unless it's over email or IM. Lol. I don't need to play 10,000 questions again.