I Fall Hard

So yes peoples I am falling again. I finally relearned how to stand, and hold my head high after taking a harsh blow from Casey. And now that i've learned how to stand, i'm falling again. I don't know what may come of this. But to tell you the truth i'm scared to death. I'm trying to figure him out, with no luck. I'm so confused. Do I take down my walls? Or do I build them higher? Do I let him in? Or do I push him away? Well he's already pretty far away lol. Literally. God I just don't know what to do anymore. He's gone for two weeks now. So I have no way of communicating. So yes everyone I will be free again instead of staying home just to talk to him lol. For two weeks at least lol. So i'll start returning some phone calls in the next few days. But I start work back up next week so I dunno wha'ts gonna happen. Any anyone who knows anything about the person of the topic. SHHHHHH. Don't say anything unless it's over email or IM. Lol. I don't need to play 10,000 questions again.