Sad Day.

Well I was great when I woke up and I was fine for a while but i'm just sad. I keep on thinking about the things that have happened in my life. I read something in a book that said what would people not know about you, just from looking. There's a lot of things. They wouldn't know about Ellen, or Cole. They wouldn't know about the hell i've been through with anorexia, bulimia, self-mutilation, depression, suicide attempts. No one knows about those things. I've learned to let go of Ellen. But Cole I just can't seem to let go. Another thing people don't know. I go up to see him 1-2 times a week. I'm afraid that if I let go, i'll forget. I've finally realized that what happened was not my fault. But I still can't help but think that I could've done something about it. To all the people that read this. Don't take your friendships for granted.